Yes, you can have a life in grad school
Office of Graduate Education ·
“But I’ll be thirty when I finish graduate school!”
“Julia, would you rather be thirty with a PhD or without one?”
I have repeated this conversation many times in my head and to anyone who will listen. Before I decided to get my PhD in biology, I had heard so many horror stories about graduate school.
The one I couldn’t get out of my mind was a Reddit post from a PhD student, who proclaimed they had to sacrifice attending many important family events for their PhD and that was just the way it was. This was particularly concerning to me: I prioritize my family over almost all else, and I had been working for over a year at a company that allowed me the flexibility to take time off when I needed it. Was I really willing to sacrifice 6 years of my life for a degree? Sacrifice suddenly felt like a much more accurate way to describe graduate school.
I am here to tell you that life continues after you start your PhD program. Yes, you will be busy, but life marches on, and you can prioritize the things that mean the most to you. I have hosted many dinner parties, watched many movies, seen family, and just recently got married (planning a wedding while in grad school deserves a post of its own— I’ll leave that for next time). The most important thing I can tell you is graduate school is hard, but neglecting your friends and family is harder. I had no desire to look back at my PhD and feel like I was frozen in time, and now, as a fifth-year, I can confidently say I did not let that happen.
So here are some things I found important when trying to prioritize a work-life balance and enjoy my twenties during graduate school:
I have seen my classmates fall in love, deal with crises, and experience life in a new city. We’ve traveled to new states and countries. We’ve cared for ill loved ones and celebrated the births of new ones.
Sounds a lot like living life to me.